The Science of Play: A Parent’s Guide to How Play and Language Grow Together
Whether you’re a new parent watching your baby mouth a set of keys or a toddler-parent navigating the "mine!" phase, you’ve probably wondered: Is this how they’re supposed to play?
At Small Talk Speech Therapy, we believe play is a child's most important "job." It isn't just "fun and games"; it’s the primary way children learn to communicate, problem-solve, and connect.
The Two Sides of Play: Objects vs. People
When speech therapists look at play, we generally divide it into two categories: Object Play (how they use toys) and Social Play (how they interact with others). Both are essential building blocks for language.
1. Object Play: From Banging to "Make-Believe"
How your child uses toys tells us about their cognitive growth.
Exploratory Play (2–4 months): Babies use their senses to learn about textures and sounds (e.g. mouthing a toy).
Relational Play (5–10 months): You’ll see your baby start to put things together (e.g. bumping two blocks/balls together).
Functional Play (10–12 months): Using toys for their intended purpose, like "brushing" hair with a toy brush or pushing a car.
Symbolic Play (12–18+ months): This is the start of true imagination. Lillard et al. (2013) established that pretend play is a critical "rehearsal" for complex thinking (e.g. eating imaginary food).
2. Social Play: The "Parten’s Stages"
Social play is the ultimate rehearsal for conversation.
The foundation for how we understand social play comes from Mildred Parten’s (1932) landmark study, which identified the six stages of social participation:
Unoccupied & Solitary Play: Playing alone and focusing on their own activity.
Onlooker Play: Watching others play but not joining in yet.
Parallel Play: Playing near other children with similar toys, but not with them.
Associative Play: Sharing toys and talking, but without an organized "game."
Cooperative Play: Working together toward a common goal (e.g., "Let’s build a fort").
The Science Says: Modern reviews, such as those by confirm these stages are still the gold standard for tracking how children learn the "give and take" of social interaction.
Play and Early Development: What’s the Real Connection?
Play isn’t just a fun way to pass the time; it is actually how children build the skills they need for life. In fact, many experts, like Lifter et al. (2011), argue that play is its own "developmental domain", kind of like walking or talking!
Here is why we pay such close attention to how your child plays:
Just like crawling comes before walking, play follows a specific sequence. It starts simple (banging blocks) and becomes complex (building a city). If a child has a developmental delay, their "play roadmap" might look a little different or take a little longer to unfold.
Play is also linked to other developmental skills. Symbolic play, for example, is related to language development, cognition and social-emotional development. These relationships are not causational, which means one does not lead to another; they are correlational relationships.
It’s important to remember that while play and language usually grow together, one doesn't always have to happen before the other (Lillard et al., 2013). Think of them as two best friends walking down a path together: they support each other, but they are both moving at their own pace.
Supporting San Antonio Families
Every child develops at their own pace. However, if you feel your child is "stuck" in one phase or isn't reaching these milestones, we are here to help.
At Small Talk Speech Therapy, we provide specialized pediatric support right here in San Antonio to help your child find their voice through the power of play.
References:
Lifter, K., Foster-Sanda, S., Arzamarski, C., Briesch, J., & McClure, E. (2011). Overview of play: Its uses and importance in early intervention/early childhood special education. Infants & Young Children. https://doi.org/10.1097/IYC.0b013e31821e995c
Lillard, A. S., Lerner, M. D., Hopkins, E. J., Dore, R. A., Smith, E. D., & Palmquist, C. M. (2013). The impact of pretend play on children's development: a review of the evidence. Psychological bulletin, 139(1), 1–34. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0029321
Parten, M. B. (1932). Social participation among pre-school children. The Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0074524
Zanzinger, K. E. (2025, October 9). Play through the ages: Early development and assessment. The Informed SLP. https://www.theinformedslp.com/review/play-through-the-ages
